Do you ever feel like you’re on a roller coaster and can’t get off? That is how I felt almost 8 years ago. I remember telling my husband that something had to change or I was going to lose it. The stress in my life seemed so overwhelming I could barely think some days. I was trying to balance being a mom of 4 young children, running the household, volunteer, serve in ministry, and the list goes on. I was doing a lot of good things, but I was running myself in the ground trying to be all the things and do all the things. I loved doing all of it, but it was wearing me thin. Have you ever felt this way? Do you feel you can’t escape or get off the roller coaster? That is how I felt. However, you don’t want to get off the roller coaster the way I did.
I kept pushing myself, not knowing how to make changes. What was I going to give up? My family needed to be first, but I also loved having things for myself. Well, I wasn’t really given a choice. I pushed too long and too hard and my body couldn’t take it anymore. Everything went all at once. I couldn’t care for my family, I couldn’t serve or volunteer. All I could do was lay in bed.
Was it just from too many things? No, it was a lifestyle of trying to do too many things, poor choices at times, and trauma from my past. All of those things shaped who I was, how I thought, and how I lived. Do you struggle in your thinking? Do you struggle with doing too many things? Do you struggle in how you take care of your body? Do you make poor choices just to sooth your self because you don’t know what else to do? If so, I understand. I used to do the same thing and then I found myself in a crumbled mess, not able to function. I either laid in bed or on the living room floor everyday for almost a year. Yes, I would get up at times, but I shook so bad, and was so weak, it took everything I had in me to do it. There were days when I had no one to help me get my kids to where they needed to be, and I would have to drive them. I would literally dry heave over the steering wheel almost the whole drive. I spent a period of 8 weeks where I only slept 30 minutes a day. I was loosing my mind and I hated the constant shakes. I felt like I was plugged into an electric socket 24 hours a day. I cried so much during that year. My heart was broken over how I felt, that I couldn’t take care of my family, and I didn’t know if I would ever get better. When I went to the doctor, they told me I was just anxious and needed anti-depressants. That didn’t work, it only made things worse. I met with a pharmacist in the town I grew up in and he gave me hope that I would get better. He told me it would be a long road, but that I would get better. When I sat talking with him, I could barely hold my head up. I was so wound up, yet I wanted to sleep. My body was in total conflict with itself. However, he told me that taking certain plant based supplements would help my body heal. He told me it would take at least 4-6 months before I even started to feel better, but don’t give up, because I would get better. He was right, I did get better. The healing process, to what I would say brought me back to normal, and a brand new, better new normal took almost 3 years.
He also told me that I needed to make some major changes in my life. We discussed the many things that I needed to change. Being healthy isn’t just about one thing, it’s about many. I made drastic diet changes, I spent many hours just being quiet and still, I took time to do things I enjoyed, I spent hours listening to sermons and worship music, and I needed to start thinking positive thoughts. For so many years, I didn’t even realize the negative self talk that went through my head that destroyed me from the inside out. That in and of itself is enough to create ongoing stress. My body had had enough stress from about every direction, and it was done. However, even though that was a dark and lonely road at times, I wouldn’t change it. It has made me a better person. It has made me stronger. It has reshaped me in more ways than one. I love myself, I think positive thoughts, and love to encourage others.
I tell you all of this so that you may see, that no matter where you are, you can be better, be healthier, be stronger, and make the changes to be a better you. You don’t have to be stuck. You can get off of the roller coaster. If you need help, I’d love to help you. I had professionals, family, and friends help me through this journey. I am so thankful for the village that it took to get me to this place. Mostly, I praise God for allowing me to go through the valley and for walking beside me daily. My story can’t be told without Jesus. He opened my eyes to see things I didn’t know I needed to see. Some things were hard to see about myself, nevertheless, I needed to see them in order to heal. My healing wasn’t just physical. It was also mental, emotional, and spiritual. Being healthy isn’t just about the physical, but about the whole person.
I hope you will take away something from my story that will inspire you to make the changes you need to make. If you need help on this journey, I would love to help you. Life is too short to stay stuck, to be unhappy, and to live in pain. Today is your day, make a decision to get healthy in every aspect of your life.